This is part 2 of a 6 part series on techniques and methods of “Change your world - change your reference point!”

Change your life, change your reference point - image courtesy - Beatrix.com

In Part 1 we talked about the many techniques that are available which attempt change your lifestyle but not all of them have been effective due to everyone being different from each other. We introduced a new technique with it’s roots in the Jumpdates machine learning lab to bring what we call is a ‘reference point’ and how you can apply this simple technique to bring massive improvements and benefits to your life.

Since we are not able to provide the full extent of the practical examples in this small post, we will highlight the essentials which hopefully you can take away with and apply to your life. If you want more information, please feel free to contact us via leaving a comment.

So what is a ‘reference point’. A reference point is what it implies, a point in space and time that determines where we stand relative to others and how we measure our own internal meter of happiness. Let’s take the example of happiness and put this on a horizontal position with 0 at one end and 100 at the other. You can pretty much find a point in that bar where you think you should be positioned. But here is the funny thing. If you do that say several times a day and maybe over weeks, the points you select will likely to be all over the place. If you take the average of those points, you could say that this would be your happiness index factor. I use ‘happiness’ as this is an internal goal that many of us strive for. For example doing well in your work, being in a healthy relationship, enjoying your free time as thee all lead to increased happiness.

Once you have a handle on how your ‘happiness’ score wobbles around from your ‘reference point’, you can then start to change your life for the better.

You will over a short period of time know the highs and lows of your happiness and what triggers these lows and highs. Make a note of these and and they become your very own unique collections that no other person in the world has. Note this is not an arbitrary method of one sitting and digging deep inside, and writing down your troubles but a very practical method to gauge the very thing that obstructs your happiness. Think of it like this. If you come straight out of a movie, you have many thoughts flooding in your head as to how that movie affected your thoughts and what your opinion was. Naturally, if you wrote down all that was going on in your mind, you could write down a page or two of this. Try this in a week from now, and you could probably muster up a couple of paragraphs at the most. It’s the same way for identifying your pain points…simply do this when you are measuring your happiness factor in the scale and then write down a few points. It is much more powerful to do this in the moment since later, your opinion will be shifted by how you feel then. This is how the brain works and we will provide you with easy to understand fundamentals of the brain and why this technique actually works.

Stay tuned for Part 3 of ‘Change your reference point and change your world!’

Tags: easy techniques, improving your life, reference point

Not all of us strive to self-improve so that we can create a better world for ourselves. It could be for many reasons such as the person is in a bad relationship and feel trapped or have deep-seated insecurities that prevent them from moving forwards.

Simple ways that anyone can lift their lives for the better

Whatever it maybe, there is way for us to move with positive changes and all it requires is a belief and confidence that you can get there. I always end up quoting the very famous book which is a must read for everyone called ‘Think & Grow Rich’ by Napolean Hill. I would like to take that a bit further and give you some practical advice that anyone can use to improve their current position in life.

The technique I am about to show you has never been shown anywhere else in the world and it is called ‘Change your reference point and change your world’. You won’t find these kind of techniques online or any other place because it is new and have been developed here in the humble ‘research tank’ of Jumpdates. Having amassed so many members who communicate and date for free via this dating site, we have been able to narrow down specific behaviors that anyone can follow that can lead to big changes in their lives.

Let us start by saying everyone has a reference point. What this means is that everyone has a personal lifestyle that they have carved out for themselves without much planning or thought. For example, you decide to choose the things you buy, eat and the type of company you wish to keep. On top of that the culmination of having grown up within a family and making all those choices defines who you are. Anthony Robbins, the famous positive thinker and advocator has given countless speeches all over the world throughout his life. What makes his work difficult is to give specific instructions to specific individuals on how they can lift themselves from where they are. However, there is a way and one that where everyone can use to benefit themselves and most of all it is very practical and doable method.

Join us for part 2 of this post coming soon, to find out how easy it is to change your life!

Many of you have probably heard of Richard Dawkins who is a renowned atheist and have spent many years criticizing the biblical scriptures or any form of religious thinking. I say to you, is it not enough that you do not believe in God but have the humility and respect to allow others to believe in what they want. Unfortunately for Richard Dawkins, this is not sufficient, he has a certain urge and mission to rid the world of the demonic teachings of religion and try to prove how foolish and ignorant everyone really is backed by his unproven evolutionary theory.

Richard Dawkins and Michio Kaku - head to head on purpose and love

I am saddened at the disparaging remarks some folks make of the catastrophic events happening around the world and to blame an entire religion or race behind it for the cause. It’s like saying that a tiger attacked and killed a passer-by in a safari park, therefore the entire tiger species need to be eliminated. It is a sad state of affairs that many people choose to ‘idealize’ the thoughts of others whom they perceive as very knowledgeable without any recourse to books or actual facts. Richard Dawkins is fully aware of this and hence he can galavant around the world and say pretty much anything he wants. For those astute amongst us, we like to objectify our views with not only scientific evidence but the world at large. It is extremely narrow minded for scientists to go around the world and claim that their theories are true such as Dawkins on the evolutionary theory. Note that this subject is always attached to the word ‘theory’ which implies theoretical in opinion and open to speculation since no substantial factual evidence to date has been brought to bear. However, Dawkins on one hand is convinced of this theory and uses it at every turn and corner to explain his position on the ‘delusion of God’. This to me, seems very unprofessional and somewhat hypocritical when he uses it to argue his position of God.

To give you an example, the word ‘love’ has many meanings to different people. You can love your spouse, mother or child. You can love your work, the things you eat and so on. To me, the word ‘love’ can never be truly determined as to it’s origin and actual meaning. Dare I say, the word ‘love’ can have a spiritual significance or maybe classified as ‘heavenly’ in it’s definition since there are no explicable definitions. Naturally, you can hear Dawkins coming down like a thunderous elephant to dismiss all notions of these awry thoughts and explain it away as he usually does with his ugly evolutionary head. You can see him do this umpteen times in this interesting debate ‘on the purpose of the universe’ that I found on youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmkrI-K7yBo

In order for Dawkins remarks to make sense, he accepts the awe and emotional appeal of the word love but completely desecrates it by attempting to put an unproven theory behind it to somehow give it some credence and form. ‘Do we really need substance and form for the origins of the word love and where it came from’. Can we not believe in the fantastic world that we have created in our heads and go on believing it until we die. After all, it is the intelligible being of who we are in space and what we conjure up in our minds that allows us to aspire to greater things. Why should we believe in a hypothetical theory to define who we are when another better theory may be out there. We just don’t know and we will never know unless Dawkins gets off his high-horse and like a true scientist understand that this is just a theory and another one can come along to displace it. He should make this clear to himself and his narrow-minded band of followers.

Going back to his argument about ‘love’, you will see he starts off very well and then clearly desecrates this word from it’s potentially beautiful meanings all the way to a petri-dish in a laboratory. His argument, ‘it can all be explained by the evolutionary theory and it will be somehow be proven by science..’. Is that all you got!

I particularly do not like the way Dawkins uses the word ‘science’ as it belong to a category or domain of thinkers that attributes them to his likening of the evolutionary theory. He makes this link because he knows very well that he is going appeal to the non-scientists who are always questioning the ethics and fallibility of religion. But to unbiased scientists like myself, we know better, and we usually allow him to let off steam and follow his heart’s and desires. But when he makes errors of judgement and a view of science as though he speaks for other scientists, then we have to object.

What Dawkins is implying is that, don’t appreciate or associate this word with anything fantastic because this would mean that you are falling into the realms of the unknown and is considered retarded and completely unscientific. Humbug, I say. It is the nature of human-kind to think outside the realm of what is already known that allows us to aspire to greater things. In some cases religion has been a major catalyst for some people and led to many great scientific inventions. You only have to check history such as the ‘golden age of Andalusian science’ to see it as historic facts widely accepted by everyone today. Try explaining that to Dawkins. No doubt, he would counter it with some kind of evolutionary mumbo jumbo and dismiss any notions of religion being anything to do with this.

I do not believe in evolutionary theory as an exacting science, not because I believe in religion, because it is simply a theory and there are gaping holes in it’s extricable evidence towards it. If it was proven with no question, then the ‘theory’ would have been dropped from the word long time ago. Just like other theories, it stays in the confines of science as theory and prone to speculation and never to be preached as doctrines of actual science as Richard Dawkins does.

Basically what Dawkins is saying is that the feeling and emotions that swell up with evocation of love should be checked against a scientific understanding and not somehow related to a ‘higher power’. I challenge anyone who has the capacity to do that, maybe a lab rat but no human can describe the essence of true love without having an elated feeling of some kind and linked to a ‘higher passage of thoughts or powers’. For some amongst us, they may make an outcry and say ‘So what!’. I do feel like this but I don’t jump and ascribe it to religion or a higher being or a spiritual ensemble of feelings. To those folks, I say ‘fine’, then go ahead and ascribe it to a certain and yet unproven evolutionary pattern of scientific evidence that pertains to this feeling. Until you have some hard scientific evidence to back it up, we will continue to believe as we like, thank you very much.

Honestly, the conversation on the merits of love between two factions of evolutionary theorists and religion should never ever take place. The matter should be dropped and it is up to the individual to ascribe what he or she feels with the connotation of the word ‘love’ be it some higher power or some neuron cells that fire in a certain way in the brain. It is also one of the reasons why I believe that atheism and religion should not meet at all to discuss their two sides. It is wasted time and effort and creates hostilities and errors of judgement amongst the naive non-scientific audience.

Michio Kaku, another highly renowned scientist who is well known for ‘string theory’ was also part of the debaters in this video. He takes a moderate viewpoint which is the correct position to take in my opinion. He ended up saying that neither party is right or wrong and I will go far as to say it is simply absurd and a desecration of everyone’s beliefs to argue on unfounded scientific principles.

Tags: Debate, Explanation, love, Michio Kaku, Richard Dawkins

I recently came across an interesting post that touches on the subject of why men go back to their native country to get married. In this specific post, it refers to the Bangladeshi men who were born in Bangladesh and living in the West such as UK, US and Canada.
Here is the original post…
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=7600258&postID=7952648023355271785&bpli=1&pli=1

Men who go back to their native country to get married

Unfortunately, the post no longer accepts comments but it makes for interesting reading on this subject matter and people’s opinions and thoughts. Below is an article that was provided by Kameeth who is a member of Jumpdates.com.

Hmm, all very interesting comments to the post and all seem to share similar thoughts.
My take on having grown up in the UK and lived many years in the US but born young in Bangladesh is that I see many of the personalities of the kids being shaped by the parents.
I am no psychologist but I can speak from some experience.

The fact that many folks come to the US especially parents of young children have a strong inclination towards the Bengali culture. Unless the parents have a very ‘mixed’ and open view of the society here in US they will continue to profess and preach what they know without true appreciation of the western culture. It actually stems from the need to ‘blockade’ western influence which they have already argued as ‘too liberating or free’ which can potentially divert their children somehow towards a ‘bad path’ that can be damaging. What a shame, since I have seen both sides of the culture with an open mind and tried to acquire what is good on all sides without being judgmental and taking either side.

What happens as a result, is that the children take on a ‘mixed’ confused personality where their conversation centers around ‘oh, stop thinking like a white or gora’. Almost as though their ways of life are degenerate or something and the culture they follow is somehow superior to theirs. Firstly, it is very ignorant and bigoted thinking that is not going to win friends with any open minded person be it in the west or east. On the other token, they indirectly credit the white folks when it comes to discriminating black folks. Oh, this area must be good since it is primarily a white community!

Unfortunately, I have seen kids grown up in this thinking and the kids definitely are a bit messed up as a result. Their opinions are shaped by their parents and they stopped to think if they are even right or wrong. What makes it worse is that they choose to ‘live’ a life of two cultures, for example, I am too independent and want this ‘free lifestyle’ of the West but in some cases do not participate in the backward thinking of some Bengali ‘culture’. How quaint and convenient. It disheartens me when this is the kind of personalities I come across from the Bengali culture. The children end up taking advantage of their situation ie. let me enjoy the benefits of what Bengali has to offer ie. stay at home forever where mother and father can provide for me and let me simply delay the marriage. I am sorry, but you simply cannot do or think like that. The respect of one’s parents now come into the picture ie. to abide by them and follow the tradition of having an arranged marriage. I hope the readers understand that ‘independence’ comes at a price and not at the convenience of what the society has to offer.

I wanted to see how many readers would agree to some of these points.
Thanks, Kameeth

Tags: Bangladeshi men, go back home, marry Bangladeshi woman

An old but useful post that still applies today talks about the reality of online dating and is recommended reading for many online daters, link provided below…

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/06/health/online-dating-pitfalls/

The article describes some important findings by eminent psychologists such as Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D. from Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois and Harry Reis, Ph.D. from University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York. Some publications of their works were included in the journal of Psychological Science in the Public Interest.

In summary, they make the stark distinctions between becoming too fixated with online profiles as opposed to actual meetings with partners they find through the dating sites. Their recommendation is to not to wade through the many profiles trying to find the perfect match but to actually go out and meet the individuals. What is on the profile does not always tell about the real individual behind their profile. Part of their reasoning is that ‘profiles’ do not offer any ‘human elements’ to all the notions of relationships both short-term and long-term and for users to not to get too caught up in finding the exact ‘profiles’. This seems to be fair and good advise to users of online dating sites since the dating websites including many of the free dating sites should be used and leveraged to get the dates offline.

Best to meet someone offline to find out what they are truly like!

However, the article did not mention that many profiles can also be fake and as a safety concern some members (especially the female gender) need to be sure that the actual date is not going to be a waste of time and will require some screening and time. Jumpdates is only a handful of sites that actually monitors each members profile by hand, so you can feel reassured that we have blocked many fake profiles and members of the site.

Advise to all Jumpdates members is try to initiate contact with the other person as quick as possible and then meet each other in real-life. There are many things about a person which a profile will simply not be able to convey.

Happy hunting and hope you find your elusive partner and date!

Tags: meeting singles, offline dating, online dating, viewing profiles, virtual dating