An old but useful post that still applies today talks about the reality of online dating and is recommended reading for many online daters, link provided below…

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/06/health/online-dating-pitfalls/

The article describes some important findings by eminent psychologists such as Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D. from Northwestern University, Evanston, Illinois and Harry Reis, Ph.D. from University of Rochester Medical Center, Rochester, New York. Some publications of their works were included in the journal of Psychological Science in the Public Interest.

In summary, they make the stark distinctions between becoming too fixated with online profiles as opposed to actual meetings with partners they find through the dating sites. Their recommendation is to not to wade through the many profiles trying to find the perfect match but to actually go out and meet the individuals. What is on the profile does not always tell about the real individual behind their profile. Part of their reasoning is that ‘profiles’ do not offer any ‘human elements’ to all the notions of relationships both short-term and long-term and for users to not to get too caught up in finding the exact ‘profiles’. This seems to be fair and good advise to users of online dating sites since the dating websites including many of the free dating sites should be used and leveraged to get the dates offline.

Best to meet someone offline to find out what they are truly like!

However, the article did not mention that many profiles can also be fake and as a safety concern some members (especially the female gender) need to be sure that the actual date is not going to be a waste of time and will require some screening and time. Jumpdates is only a handful of sites that actually monitors each members profile by hand, so you can feel reassured that we have blocked many fake profiles and members of the site.

Advise to all Jumpdates members is try to initiate contact with the other person as quick as possible and then meet each other in real-life. There are many things about a person which a profile will simply not be able to convey.

Happy hunting and hope you find your elusive partner and date!

Tags: meeting singles, offline dating, online dating, viewing profiles, virtual dating

The other day, I was watching this intriguing program on TV by HBO called ‘State of Play: Happiness’ where the celebrity Michael Strahan appeared on the show. The discussion centered around the state of being happy and as the program progressed I realized that the essence of someone especially a man and his relationship with compatriots and close members of the family are intertwined. What I mean is that the true nature of the person, their character, personality, attitude and well being are interlinked to the kind of relationships that he/she has with other people.

It became obvious that the ‘persona’ of many people are dictated by their aspirations for the future, the very things they strive for and the goals they want to achieve in life. Many of these goals are career aspirations such as reaching a high level of ability in some area such as athletics, sports, arts, music or other areas demanding a high level of patience, determination and the desire to achieve. Typically the person becomes a reflection of his/her own career aspirations and reflects that aura around the very people they associate with.

Along with this internal drive, comes other qualities such as the endurance to tolerate pain and above all the happiness factor which this program talks about. Their ’state of happiness’ comes about after striving through an arduous process and putting aside great hardship to reach their desired goals. People become committed to their goals and depending on what level they choose to obtain it, reveals great many facets of their character.

Next time you are in a relationship, ask what their career aspirations are and how they expect to achieve it, it can tell you a great deal about this person which otherwise can take a very long time.

Determination and relationships

Image credit: http://www.drestellasneider.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/determination-610×350.jpg

Tags: career aspirations, determination, links, relationships

Fabrication of profiles to lure more people to their home page or dating profiles are happening all over the internet today. The situation has been made worse by the fact that social sites also encourage this without any screening of any kind. Maybe the only screening that they can do is to check that images are within certain standards, ie. not obscene or politically motivated etc. but never about whether the origination of the picture has any truth.

Some of the dating sites take time to filter through their profiles in an automated way such as checking the behavior patterns of users ie. do they send out the same messages all the time, do the geo-location of the user match their actual location listed in the profile. However, automated methods cannot beat the manual way of checking user profiles such as Jumpdates.com which takes pride in doing this screening by hand and have said that it always results in a much better user experience for our users. ‘While all the other sites are only interested in acquiring the maximum number of profiles on their sites, we on the other hand think emphasize the importance of having legitimate profiles on our site’. They may have a point because if you go to a dating review site - sitejabber.com where they allow many of their users to comment on specific businesses, you will find many well known sites that have highly critical comments referring to spammers on their sites.

Not all is lost, and we have good advise to members of dating sites that want to improve their experience and to spot these scammers that usurp much of your time.

1. Don’t rely on the dating profile alone.

Here, you can take advantage of the rich content that is around the world wide web. If you suspect a member, then simply type their username in Google, Bing or Yahoo. You are likely to get back some profiles that this user has setup on other dating sites. Since many dating members are not just a member of one dating site. Remember, also that users can also come up in facebook and other social sites that tell you more about this user.

2. Be shrewd when you email them.

Don’t pour your heart out when shoot an email to them for the first time. Ask very pertinent questions such as I noticed that your pic doesn’t seem to reflect your age, is it an old one? Or you can say, what are your career aspirations since this may sound unromantic but anyone who responds with glee is surely passionate about where they are going in life.

3. Take your time.

In this fast paced world, people find it hard to wait and generally more and more people make decisions on impulse and gut-feelings. As a result there doesn’t appear any plan or structure in their lives and they may find that their hearts get broken too quickly. It’s time to take things easy and you will be able filter out the weed and find your ideal partner.

Dating scammers of 2015

Tags: know your stuff, profile fabrication 2015, scammers, screening bad dating profiles, spammers

Our previous article on India’s sex survey of 2012 got many interested readers on this hot subject!

We have scoured the internet and summarized the trend for 2015 below, enjoy!

There appears to be a sexual revolution going on in India according to this article in FirstPost. It summarized that promiscuous sex including wife-swapping and divorce rates are up in 2015.

Don’t intellectualize sex, make it fun!

These are the words from the article in IndiaToday which explains that the clinical nature of sex losing ground to more creative ways to keep the relationship up par and keeping sex intriguing.

Sex education to be banned in India!

According to this article by IndiaTimes, sex education should be banned which was echoed by the Union health minister Harsh Vardham. Undoubtedly, this had a backlash from the public, mainly health workers trying to avoid unwanted pregnancies. The debate still continues.

Sex in the bollywood movie industry

Increasingly, the sex-scandals of the famous bollywood movie industry are continuing to drive up public interest. Bollywood has been existential in India’s perception of sex and the increasingly intimate scenes are changing in accord with the public’s interest in sex.

Oral sex on the up in India

Oral sex has long been considered taboo in India but from this article, it seems that the cultural shift in public’s opinion of thinking has opened up new exploratory avenues for Indian couples. Dr. Shivani Sachdev puts this down squarely to the old rules and laws of the country.

sex and dating in India - survey 2015

Tags: India, Kama Sutra, marriage, Sex Survey, Survey 2015

Jumpdates turns a new leaf in it’s history as it passes it’s 15th year anniversary. During that time, it has witnessed a tremendous change withing the online dating community and the shift in everybody’s thinking.
It was not too long ago, that many folks would positively hide the fact that they met online and would make up many stories to hide that fact. Today, it’s as commonplace as getting a sandwich at your local deli store. The top dating sites of the world are continuing to economize on this upward trend and there doesn’t seem to be any abating for now at least.

The mobile traffic to dating sites are now equal or more than the desktop traffic. However, the mobile traffic audience are distinctly different to the desktop traffic visiting websites for several reasons. Android or iPhone applications like Tinder, Hinge, Grindr etc have had a huge following since their inception. Their desktop traffic pretty much amounts to nothing. However, this speaks volumes about the nature of dating, lifestyle and the audience that businesses in dating are trying to target. It is a well known fact that these applications which make it relatively easy to find other like-minded partners especially in your local area. Some may argue that this simply works on people’s psychology of a ‘quick-fix’ and instant gratification but others have argued that they have found their ultimate partner through these apps. There is no doubt that the apps are designed to tickle the fancies of ‘looking good, lets meet’ first and worry about the rest later.

Tinder home page - a different perspective to how it is used?

Could this be a passing trend for party-goers who want to indulge in their fantasies for the weekend or a serious application to meet a long-term partner. The makers of Tinder like to think so (check out their home page) but the actual fact is that people choose to use it the way they feel like it and if people are rushing to download the app, who cares, right! I think for an audience that want a long-term partner, they instinctively take a long time to process and find their dates and in our busy lives, it is really hard to date several people at the same time. The process of dating leads to an affinity to the type of people that you will attract and ultimately spend all your time together. If you are slow to get things moving and find other folks in the same space, you are both willing to ‘bond’ at a much deeper level which will ultimately lead to a more fruitful relationship.

That is just my thinking.

Tags: dating audience, desktop dating, mobile dating, tinder app