Who should pay on the first date?
who should pay for dinner on the first date
This subject can be a topic of intense controversy with various viewpoints and not always what you want to hear.
Before embarking on to provide some answers to this question here is an ideological situation irrespective of other people’s views, social culture etc.
The modern world as we know it allows both men and women of good health and character to take on equal jobs without discrimination.
However, the macro statistics on this subject will indicate a clear differentiation of women and men in various jobs, roles they play and also the salary they earn.
Without diving too much into this subject, it can be argued that men still dominate the economic strata in terms of bringing in more money, getting higher positions etc.
So in a world where there is no discrimination between sexes, culture, religion or race the emphatic answer is that it is equal responsibility by both parties and should be shared.
Now for the arguments in the real world…
Who should pay on the first date? Part 2 >>>
Tags: dinner date
Who should pay on the first date - part 2
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In the real world as we know it, some men have grown up with an in-built chivalry and respect towards the gentile sex and would say that it is in their duty to provide for women and all women for that matter.
battle of the sexes
This may be true, if you were in strong and stable relationship where both of you were in a supporting role in the relationship.
However, in the dating scene where the outcome cannot be predicted then this issue becomes a little grey, particularly for men of valor as indicated earlier.
For most of us, this concept is kept simple by going ‘Dutch’ but it’s only when it gets skewed in either direction that it can become a bit of a prickly subject.
For example, suppose the man decided to pay for this dinner and there were no subsequent dates, the money spent on that date could be considered as wasted whereas the woman got a free lunch and this can happen in either way.
Who should pay on the first date - part 3
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woman using charm
I have known some people who cleverly use the situation to their advantage and try to get free dinners out of the other person.
In the case of women this can be a fairly easy task to do, primarily because men are often the pursuers in a relationship.
Often these women would ‘lead’ the man incorrectly just to have a free evening out without any cost to them using their grace and sexuality.
This kind of behavior in my opinion is very bad and it should be avoided as it could ultimately bite back and you could lose all respect from men.
However, some men may choose to pay despite knowing the outcome of the dinner date which could go either way.
In this case an act of chivalry such as this should be rewarded with something like “Thank you very much, you are very kind”.
Who should pay on the first date - part 4
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Some people have known not to flinch for a second when it comes time to paying the bill and expect that responsibility rests squarely on the other person.
dont be petty
I have heard tales of some people who go to the bathroom just to avoid paying the bill.
It surprises me that people place so much importance on the pettiness of money in order to jeopardize a long and rewarding relationship which can be priceless.
It is a shame that such tactics are strife and often creates feelings of distrust between two people and nothing is worse than this when getting off to a good and healthy relationship.
Often some people instinctively know that this date is sure to be the first and last and therefore take full advantage of the opportunity.
Again such pettiness comes out in ones personality and the fact of the matter is that you will not attract the kind of individuals you are looking for and if you do, it usually won’t last long.
Who should pay on the first date - part 5
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honesty is the best policy
However, in the interests of any date, most woman should choose to pay at least half even if there is an offer to pay the whole bill by the other person.
This leaves a good overall impression where both persons credibility is preserved.
Another point to note is that if you have gone on several dates and dinner is being provided for by only one of the individuals, it can be a sign that there is interest in the relationship from the person footing the bill.
It is important not to give off signals like this as this can lead to problems later.
The correct approach to make sure that this doesn’t happen is to pay your portion of the bill which clearly sends a strong signal that you wish to remain as mutual friends and nothing more.
Friendship is as valuable as an intimate relationship and mature adults will pick up on this.
There are times when some people have the incredible belief that their ‘presence’ alone is sufficient to warrant an act of kindness on your part.
These people are often the most manipulative when it comes to money.
