Returned 752 results for 'Category: Dating and Relationship Advice'
Detecting arrogance - Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs
Monday, August 15th, 2016
The subject of arrogance is extremely wrought with uncertainty since many of us can associate to some extent to the qualities of arrogance due to our egotistical nature. We at Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs have fed conversations on this topic through our unique machine language algorithms and came up with some insights.

Arrogance means different to different people
To categorize as someone being arrogant is in a way putting yourself in their shoes and making assumptions and deductions that you somehow have a superior handle on arrogance than they have. If you say, you spotted arrogance, does this mean that the other person is not aware of his/her arrogant behavior. Maybe you are right, because you sympathize with the notions of arrogance and for you to characterize that quality in others means you have more experience in the real world and is in a better position to make that statement. Are you really?
People’s definition of arrogance will differ from one person to another. Suppose you asked or posed that question to the person who you are implying is arrogant. For example a direct question ‘Are you arrogant or do you have arrogant traits’. What do you think the most likely responses would be? Maybe you will get a very diplomatic response or maybe you will get back anger and resentment. Who is to say that one is right and the other is not.
You just need to search the internet for thousands of articles posted on this subject and if you chose to understand the topic, then you are probably in the small percentage who cares as much. However, the fact that people don’t feel the necessity of understanding every topic under the sun, or taking an inherent interest does not imply that they have shortcomings in those particular topics. Maybe through their experience they are able to spot people with certain characteristics than the next person who has gone through many books on psychology.
It has been said that any shortcomings in human beings is a product of the person not being aware of those shortcomings. So, you could say that someone who is arrogant will not be able to find true definition of the meaning and thus try to correct themselves. This begs the question of how much should you be yourself in group or ‘toe the line’ with respect to others in terms of dignity, respect, society etc as a whole.
It has also been said that it takes one to know one. Maybe the arrogant person already knows his shortcomings and have leveraged it to his advantage to overpower and control others around him. After all ‘arrogance’ with all its negative connotations has perceived qualities that others may be craving for. For example, the person who lacks confidence. You don’t need to look too far for those kinds of people, we have one running for the White House and has millions of supporters.
Many topics on this subject advises people to steer away from these kinds of people. But the argument could be, how can you deal with these people effectively if you had no choice but to work with them for whatever reason. Maybe you are being a coward from running away from those people and not be able to deal with them. Maybe you are doing yourself injustice in mixing with more ‘normal’ people around you and incubating yourself from potentially good relationships with other people. You know what they say ‘birds of a feather, stick together’!
The point being made is that when it comes to ‘arrogance’, there are no black and white decisions that you can make and can label someone uniquely in this category. Like I was saying earlier, some people can ‘show-off’ to a potential mate that they are interested in and anyone else peering in may find this person ‘extremely arrogant’. We all have egos and some to a lower extent and others to a higher extent. We all have to live together and make choices and maybe for a particular group of people they have worked out their differences and get by. Maybe for those people who are struggling with their own internal issues find themselves out of tune with the rest of society. Who knows? But one of the highest esteemed human trait that can be found in anyone, is the ability to self-reflect and see it objectively from another’s point of view.
Tags: arrogance meaning, arrogant, detecting arrogance, jumpdates thinktank
Lessons learned - Squabbles between couples are a good thing
Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

Squabbles between couples are a good thing - image courtesy classic105.com
It is a well known fact that some of the gender differences are known to scientists and psychologists alike. One of these differences lies in how a man or a woman use their cognitive abilities that they are inherently born with and apply it to their daily lives. Women are considered more instinctual thinkers and think of details whereas men are more pragmatic in the way they reach their conclusions. So who is right and who is wrong. It would be a complete waste of time and energy to deduce one gender is greater in some respects than man. However, we cannot argue the fact that this is definitely a man’s world. ‘It would be nothing without a woman or a girl’, the lyrics of the famous artist and singer James Brown, ‘It’s a Man’s, Man’s Man’s World’.
To argue over the instinctual nature of women and the logical sense of men would be futile in exercise and like comparing apples and oranges. The right approach to these differences is to understand how these differences can work together to bring about something greater than by itself. The gnawing and thrashing of couple squabbles is in actual fact a good thing. This usually arrives from polarized views in their thinking ie. the instinctual versus the logic. What many people don’t realize that each time you arrive at an agreement from those squabbles there is a greater awareness and understanding of cooperation between couples. This should be a goal and known fact from the social interaction of couples. However, there is a BIG catch for this to work smoohtly and effectively. If one feels defeated and bitter over an argument, the couple’s relationship may take a path for the worse. What can possibly be good from one party having been defeated over their arguments by a decisive win by the other party. All couples should take note. It is a marriage of co-operation and both have to give and take without harboring ill feelings between each other.
Unfortunately, in the ideal world we are not made to act or react in such a way depending of course on the topic of arguments or discussion. Our opinions and arguments stem from the way we have been brought up and the way we shape our personalities from our internalized experiences. But the truth remains that we have some qualities and values that we can always aim for in order to make ourselves better than what we are. These traits have been passed through generation after generation and they can come in any shape or form ie. cultural, religious, spiritual, hardship etc. But there are common threads of human qualities that we put head and shoulders above the rest. These include sincerity, generosity, kindness, integrity amongst others. If we are true to those values than I will make a bold a statement that the world would be cured of 99% of the problems we see facing today.
So the lesson learned is that the next time you come out of an argument, make sure you have the empathy in check so that both individuals have gained something positive out of the argument.
Tags: couples, fights, insights, quarrelling
Jumpdates movie review - The Jungle Book (2016)
Tuesday, August 9th, 2016
We have come of age in rendition of CGI (computer generated imagery) and it becomes apparent when you watch the Disney’s latest movie ‘The Jungle Book’ by director Jon Favreau and starring Neel Sethi, Bill Murray and Ben Kingsley as the leading voiceovers.
Released globally this year 2016.

The Jungle Book - 2016
I wouldn’t say it is completely animation, but the rendition of cgi characters are almost unreal to watch. It is one movie where the director has simply gone through every detail to prevent us from second guessing whether the image is animated or real. This to me is the most striking technical achievement of this movie and deserves to be in the ranks of Matrix, Avatar and other technical greats.
The movie is simply delightful to watch and you will not feel one second of boredom creep in as you journey through the fantastic world of the jungle with Mowgli. The characters are so wonderfully portrayed and blends beautifully with the whole story that you become part of the journey. The movements of the animals especially when Shere Khan plants himself on top of the meeting point for the wolves is just uncannily real. You can tell that animal movements as we see in real-life were exactly mimicked from every one of the senses known to man - sound, sight, movement, smell.. you name it, they thought of it.
I would recommend this movie to anyone of any age group. You will be immersed in another world for 2 hours and is a great watch for couples.
Tags: Disney, Family movie, The Jungle Book
Change your life, change your reference point! - Part 6
Monday, August 8th, 2016
Final notes on the subject ‘Change your reference point - change your world’. We are making a complete course material on this subject and soon to be released as a downloadable ebook. Watch this space!

Change your life - Change your reference point
We discussed how to handle the complex situations of using the method of ‘reference pointing’. The techniques are simple and anyone can use them, you just need to apply it on a routine basis. The benefits are significant compared to using other techniques which usually give the same repetitive message again and again.
Still, there are many folks who just don’t have the time to go to these lengths and for them, the path is also simple, you basically know your own reference points and change the world around you. You may do this very selfishly as many of the most successful people on earth. Take Trump as an example and he clearly typifies the arrogant and self-serving interest and followed this path.
Contrary to what most people think, the fact that ‘normal’ people would like to associate the departure characterized by these people who can be considered ‘abnormal’, should be an easy fix. This could not be far from the truth, it is the very wide departure in their thinking that constitutes the many negative ‘complexities’ of the mind that causes them to behave in such a way. Hence the fix is equally more hard and a uphill battle. You just have to see examples in your own life where the constant irrational behaviours that are so obvious are actually the hardest to fix.
A key factor in attempting to understand the differences in human behavior is not to ‘reference’ their behaviour with yours. You could say that this inevitable when you are living with someone or have to live your daily lives with such people. It’s an important concept to understand. The true psychologist comes across as very cold and for very good reasons. The do not ‘exert’ their opinions or views on the behavior they are trying to characterize otherwise it would be completely detrimental to the patient’s treatment. Their simple treatment is for the patient to dig deep and understand their own deficiencies or lack of understanding. It is only through this that they can better themselves. Now you can understand why the ‘reference point’ is so essential to self-improvement.
Along with ‘reference points’ comes another important concept called ‘detachment’.
So here is something important to consider. By exerting your thoughts and beliefs on others can only lead to disaster and the person most affected by this is the one who is trying to exert the thoughts and beliefs onto others. Think about it, you become frustrated by other people’s reactions and behavior and your brain attempts to bring some sensible conclusions towards this. For example, you end up cursing the others for being so and you wonder how they came to be like this. You derive negative thoughts that can try to explain the situation away by implanting personality disorders and there alike. When you find yourself in that situation, you will exercise what you have learnt by departing yourself from the events and folks. Say to yourself that they have reference points on their scales and that simply does not tally with yours. So what do you do first, you calm yourself down and remind yourself of the reference points that both of you are at.
Over time, you will see that others can look very favorably upon you and in fact listen to you with this kind of reaction. However, don’t get roped into discussions with them if you feel that their reference points are too much departed from yours. You need to make the decision whether you want to help those folks sincerely and genuinely which will take time and energy on your part. Or if you simply want to move forwards. Remember, that you should feel happy that you have triggered this kind of reactions in such individuals where others have failed over rational arguments. Remember, in one ear and out the other year which they have heard from many others. If they see a change and indifference behavioural pattern in you, then they are likely to change. It is surprising that I learned this technique long time ago, but it is hardly discussed by positive thinkers and almost always mentioned by the way. This is where you can see that reference point brings a whole bag of reasonings as to why you felt the way and did what you did. Now with this ammunition under your belt, you can now truly shape your life from your own perspective and not someone else’s.
We hope you enjoyed this six part series on practical methods and techniques where you can take your life back and make all those important changes. The techniques are not derived from ‘positive thoughts only’ but from a real perspective to understand where you are in life, in essence your own reference point.
Please add your comments below and let us know if the ebook would be of interest to you, so we can mail out a notification and link as soon as it is ready!
Warmest regards,
Jumpdates think-tank
Tags: change life, ebook, reference point, self-improvement
Change your life, change your reference point! - Part 5
Friday, August 5th, 2016
Part five of the six part series on using ‘reference pointing’ to help you handle complex situations. The only technique that has known to work consistently for members of Jumpdates. Read on…
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