MACK Tactics: The Science of Seduction Meets the Art of Hostage Negotiation -

By Christopher Curtis & Rob Wiser

An interesting premise to say the least, this book gives the reader a crash course in self-discovery while infusing a boot camp guidebook for the curious consumer male. The title MACK stands for Method, Action, Confidence, Knowledge-And the authors apply their formal hostage negiating skills to the delicate art of dating and relationship-building. It’s getting great reviews and readers are convinced of its merits…now you decide!

Excerpt from Amazon reader: After a terrible breakup with my ex-girlfriend, I found myself back on the dating scene after seven years and feeling clueless about how to approach and talk to women. A book I bought recently helped me break out my slump. It’s called MACK Tactics: The Science of Seduction Meets the Art of Hostage Negotiation I highly recommend it. It begins by showing you how to build your self-confidence and then lays out a step-by-step blueprint for becoming a “M.A.C.K.” — a guy who uses Method, Action, Confidence and Knowledge to succeed with women on a whole new level. Give this book a try, it’s a fun, quick read and it’s packed with information.

Sex, Lies, and Online Dating -

by Rachel Gibson

A rather flippant, edgy mystery novel wound around the online dating scene where the feisty Lucy Rothchild, mystery author and police detective Quinn McIntyre find more than they bargained for. Lucy trolls for juicy bits for her latest murder mystery and Quinn delves into the online dating scene to catch a lady serial killer. Both find each other and attempted romance ensues as the work-worn detective and the smart 30 something single woman who’s been burned before work in consort to create and solve the most satisfying mystery of their lives. Clever plotlines and interesting characters set in today’s hustling urban landscape. A lighthearted look at online dating.

Love Actually

starring Hugh Grant, Alan Rickman, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney and Don Cheadle

This movie made me weep with happiness and renewed hope. At the time I was so down on relationships, having just gotten over a bad breakup-A great film to watch with someone new-

With no fewer than eight couples vying for our attention, Love Actually is like the Boston Marathon of romantic comedies, and everybody wins. Having mastered the genre as the writer of Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, and Bridget Jones’s Diary, it appears that first-time director Richard Curtis is just like his screenplays: He just wants to be loved, and he’ll go to absurdly appealing lengths to win our affection. With Love Actually, Curtis orchestrates a minor miracle of romantic choreography, guiding a brilliant cast of stars and newcomers as they careen toward love and holiday cheer in London, among them the Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) who’s smitten with his caterer; a widower (Liam Neeson) whose young son nurses the ultimate schoolboy crush; a writer (Colin Firth) who falls for his Portuguese housekeeper; a devoted wife and mother (Emma Thompson) coping with her potentially unfaithful husband (Alan Rickman); and a lovelorn American (Laura Linney) who’s desperately attracted to a colleague. There’s more–too much more–as Curtis wraps his Christmas gift with enough happy endings to sweeten a dozen other movies. That he pulls it off so entertainingly is undeniably impressive; that he does it so shamelessly suggests that his writing fares better with other, less ingratiating directors. –Jeff Shannon (excerpt from Amazon.com review)

We all like to be found (by our would-be partner) but the truth of the matter is that we need to follow our instincts and make ourselves active when looking for our lifelong partner. There are many places that you can go to find your ideal partner, but basically it boils down to creating opportunities for yourself to meet other people in social gatherings, clubs, meetings etc. Here are a few guidelines..

Open up opportunities
It’s always comfortable to go to social events that you like. You don’t have to go to night clubs if that’s not your scene, there are many other places where people get together, for example, dance studios, hobby events, weddings, house parties etc. Find out what your interests are and then decide to go to them on a regular basis. By going regularly you are presenting yourself to people that they know you and can trust you. You shouldn’t restrict your conversations or meetings just to the opposite sex, be open and meet people of all backgrounds. You may be surprised by the opportunities that open up to you when you talk to like-minded people. For example they may invite you to their house for a barbecue and you meet the ‘love of your dreams’ there. Just keep your mind open to any opportunities that come your way.

Be yourself
When you meet other people, simply be yourself and you will feel comfortable talking to other people. This presents a likeable and pleasing personality (with nothing to hide) and which people are drawn to and will most certainly help you build a great social network.

Breaking the ice
Ok, so you have been to the social events and you have singled out some attractive partners that you would like to date. What do you do? Again, the best approach for this is to ‘make small talk’ so the act of asking someone for a date doesn’t seem awkward. You can always say during your conversation ‘I enjoyed our talk very much, would you like to have coffee with me sometimes’. This appears much more friendly and has a higher chance of getting a favorable response.

Increase your opportunities
Expand your opportunities by having your profiles set-up on other websites and always include a photo with your profiles. There are many free dating sites available today and you don’t have to pay a penny, just a few minutes of your time. Don’t be afraid to try out new innovative ways to expand your reach and help you find your ideal mate!

Other resources

• Appearance and dress sense really counts in dating
• How to be liked through examples – 12 key pointers
• The language of love - Body language and its potent power
• What is flirting and why is it important?

Tags: advise on dating, finding perfect partner, finding soul mate, resources on self-help

Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months pretty seriously. He started a new job a week or so ago, and got a new game system. Ever since then I feel he cares less about me and isn’t interested in our relationship. He’s always tired and just wants to play video games. He also seems very distant lately, and it really hurts me. I have tried telling him he has been acting different but he doesn’t believe it, and gets angry when I keep bringing it up. I think I may be overreacting, but I am still worried he’s not interested in me anymore. I just don’t know what to do.

Answer
First of all, let me reassure you that what you are going through happens in most long-term relationships. Although it may not make you feel better right now, it is important to know that you are not alone in your frustrations, trying to figure out why your relationship may have changed and whether or not it means the end is near (which, by the way, it probably isn`t).
But what you really want to know is: is he still interested? So let’s delve right into your question.

After a certain period of time (usually within the first year) one or both partners realize that all of their free time doesn’t necessarily need to be spent with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

They have become comfortable and feel secure in the relationship (both good things) and are moving back towards the kind of person they normally are when not actively pursuing a relationship. Let’s face it: a new relationship is hard work, and oftentimes singles throw a lot of their normal escapes out the window - temporarily - until they know what they’ve got isn’t going away anytime soon.

Where the problems start however, is when one person in the relationship is still expecting this heightened level of new relationship interaction after a longer period of time. Your boyfriend doesn’t think anything is wrong, because to him, what he`s doing is normal when he`s comfortable with someone. As well, he may be needing a bit more time to himself than previously to work out how he really feels about you. Eight months is a long time, and he`s probably wondering where things are going, just as you are. Problem is, he most likely needs some space from you to figure it out.

If still you think your boyfriend isn’t interested, here’s what I suggest you do:

• Focus on yourself for a while. Don`t worry about what your boyfriend is doing, whether that’s working a lot or playing video games nonstop. Think about the people and activities you’ve left by the wayside temporarily while the two of you were forging your relationship, and slowly start incorporating them back into your life.

• Take a look at yourself during your time away from your partner. A quick review may show you that your needs have changed and a discussion is required with your partner. Alternatively, you may find that yes, your expectations have become unrealistic.

• Don’t call, email, or otherwise contact your boyfriend for a week. Give him some space and time. In fact, if you are able, don`t contact him until he makes contact with you, first. Fill your life and time with other things that aren’t related to your boyfriend, and see just how long it takes him to miss you. If your relationship is going anywhere, he will call you soon enough, and the two of you can reconnect lovingly. If, however, he does not make contact within a predetermined amount of time (say, a month), you will know that the relationship is over.

Online Dating Safety (Added 12/3/07)

Online dating offers great opportunities to meet someone special and since you are communicating from the comfort of your own home, there is a level of safety and security. Because of this laid back approach, you may become too comfortable and give away private information which may come around and cause you harm. This guide designed especially for women, offers tips on how to use online dating service while maintaining your privacy and safety. It’s not intended to be a complete guide so please your instincts and common sense when giving out information about yourself and when talking with other members.
• When you go out on a date, the best approach to establishing a healthy relationship is too go slow and get to know the other person. Similarly in online dating, it’s always better to get to know the person before divulging too much information about yourself.
• Don’t provide any type of personally identifiable information in your dating profile, e-mail messages, or chat room conversations. This information includes your name, address, city where you live, phone number, name of the company where you work, organizations that you are associated with, and so on.
• If the dating service has a chat room, be very careful about the information you share. While you want to have an enjoyable time chatting with other people just be wary of the information you give out.
• Be sure you use the communication/messaging tools provided by the dating service before giving away your email. For instance, you want a dating service that has their own messaging system so you do not have to use your own personal e-mail to talk to other members. Also be very wary of someone asking you for their personal email in the first communication.
• Do not let anyone pressure you into giving information about yourself unless you want to. Follow your common sense and instincts.
• When you are talking to someone for the first time, you may find inconsistencies in the other person’s conversation which will alert you to possibly fake members who have other ulterior motives.
• If the person you are communicating with does not have a photo posted, ask for one and preferably more than one. Do not give out your email, ask them to post on the dating service and tell them politely you will come back and view them.
• Once you are comfortable with someone you met online, you may take it to the next level and exchange phone numbers. Make sure you provide your cell phone for this purpose. Phone conversations, will most definitely tell you more about the other person by their voice, tone and manner of speech. You can then decide whether to meet up with the person.
• Finally, always use common sense and follow your instincts, if you are uncomfortable or uneasy about a situation, don’t feel pressured and politely say to the person you need to go and will contact them later.

Activity Rating – What is it all about?

Introduction to Activity Rating
Jumpdates has implemented what we think is unique in the online dating service with its Activity Meter. Each member of Jumpdates has a unique activity rating according to the users ‘activity’ level within the site. You can view your rating by simply logging into your account and on your members home page you will see two green bars as shown below.

jumpdates members activity score

In the above example, the members’ activity rating is 10% as compared to the average rating of the entire members group which is 40%. This blog will help you understand how activity rating is important to you and how you can improve this rating.

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