Article Subject: Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 3 - Messaging other members

Dr. Dato’s Brief:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

In part 3 of this series, we talked about the opening line of a message and how it impacts readership of the recipient depending on the opening line. Here we talk about the actual message itself and how you can improve on this based on information that we have gathered from the Jumpdates.com database.

In similar fashion to having a good unique opening line to garner an interest, the same is true of your actual message and the type of message is different for both men and women. Words that we have found that often invokes interest are “your name”, “you mentioned”, “like your taste”, “noticed that”. This would probably imply that you have read something of the profile and you were not just simply doing an email blast to all the respective members.

From a man’s perspective of creating a unique message, the actual wording should at least reflect something of the profile and on top of that craft an interesting sentence out of this. For example, suppose that you found a females profile that you liked and there was information on how she loved dancing. You could say something like “I recently saw this dance show an old movie where the dance show blew me away, did you by chance see that movie…”. Women are generally looking for someone to connect with, so try to make that type of emotional connection which will get them noticing you.

For a women, it can be a different ball game, because its often the male who is the pursuer and the female is the benefactor. However, in the world of dating this has all changed and women can now equally do what men has done over time without having to feel pushed or cornered into making decisions. The online tools on the website available to women make this possible ie. being able to block users, comprehensive search to find potential partners etc. It is therefore incumbent upon them to take full advantage of this and find a more matched profile which is to their liking. To attract men that you find worthy of communicating, try to look over the profile and find something of interest to write about in your subject line. Generally, it is wise to keep the conversation to a minimum if its the first time you are communicating with that person. Say something along with a catch subject line like “I would be interested to hear more about your interest…” or “I know someone who does exactly what you do and…”, “By the way, I have a shirt just like that color…”.

Read this post that has more information ideally suited to men, who want to create that connection that will get them noticed.

writing effective messages is a must in online dating