Author Archive
Some personal qualities to learn from the Rio Olympics 2016
Thursday, August 18th, 2016
The Rio Olympics of 2016 are filled with excitement as we see great feats of skill, strength, endurance and determination. We almost find ourselves in the same shoes as the olympian who crosses the 100m line to break the world record or the frustration of the high jumper who hits the bar on the third time.
Reach greatness in your own field
I find it particularly fascinating to watch the short interviews that take place after an event, it reveals their thinking and often the purpose of why they go through such enduring hardship to reach the top. If we take mankind as a whole, we have excelled at being the masters of our world and we have a deep craving for progress and what lies ahead. This is so true for anyone who competes for a medal in the world cup.
Maybe to a lesser extent, we all have a deep sense of purpose and achievement that we strive for and the perception of how we internalize these feelings can propel us forward or keep as stagnant. We can associate all the athletes that participate in the Olympics have gone through gruelling exercise and constant practise along with much sacrifices to reach the pinnacle of their sport. Why do they do that? To many of us we cannot imagine being subject to the same constant routine day after day to just to get the satisfaction of having 1 billion people or so watching you hold your medal.
If we take that same philosophy of thinking to heart and apply it to our daily lives we should theoretically also achieve greatness in our endeavors. But many will forgo that desire to be ‘great’ because the ‘struggle’ and ‘sacrifice’ is far too much to bear in the pursuit of that goal. Nevertheless the sense of high achievement and greatness has never come without a price. But I would say to those naysayers that when you are living the dream and greatness the slog and effort that one tends to think is not the way one thinks. In fact, if those people did not ‘enjoy’ or feel ‘fulfilled’, they would not be able to maintain the path they put themselves through.
The ‘euphoria’ of living your dreams propels one to a new level of thinking where the tasks does not seem like tasks at all but inches them towards glory.
Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs
Tags: feelings, goals, learn from greatness, rio olympics, success
Understanding life partner choices - the cultural differences of East and West
Wednesday, August 17th, 2016
One can find tons of information related to the subject of finding the ideal partner. In fact, you will find many articles written about this subject on this Jumpdates blog. With the divorce rate on the rise and more people choose not to marry, these are obviously not encouraging news for anyone who want to settle down.
Married couples - east and west
The problem stems from our lack of appreciating the complexities and nuances of personalities that make up an individual. Of course when we go dating with the person, we generally don’t always see the negative side of things as both are trying to impress. This is one of the reasons why the West generally do not understand how the East can marry someone without having met them as the so called ‘arranged marriages’. The Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs have conducted some research on this subject and have come across some insightful trends and patterns that can explain some of these explicable differences.
Although we understand the nature of ‘arranged marriages’ and some may be critical about it’s practice but it is safe to say that the length of marriage would be determining factors for the match.
On the face of things it looks like the East has an upper hand on the longevity of the marriage over their Western counterparts. One should ask why this would be the case.
There are marked differing ideologies related to marriage when we compare the West and the East. Firstly, the communion of marriage between two persons in the East have a wider encompassing reach amongst members of the families. That is to say, the extended families do not move away once the marriage has taken place, in fact, they become an integral part of the future of the coupole. On the opposite side, the Western values are different where a sense of ‘space and independence’ is granted to the couple by families even though they will be still part of their lives. There are advantages and disadvantages to both of these differing family ideals and we will only touch on a few.
When couples of the East generally have trouble adjusting and coping, they can almost always turn to their family members for support. Also, in the Eastern culture, families tend to live together in a bigger household, if not, then not very far from where the couple would live. The advantage of this setup is that couples who are green in the understanding of marriage and cooperation will get a good dose of wisdom, daily checks to make their marriage successful.
The West as we know have a very different viewpoint of how marriages work and the focus is always on the couples to work things out without much outside help. As such the tensions can be high between the couple and without any obvious close support the marriage can deteriorate. Generally marriages in the West happen at later ages unless families have been an integral part of both the couples. It is difficult to say which is better than the other since they both garner human qualities which the other party would not necessarily possess. For example, the couples from the West can be more self-reliant, independent, strong and more driven to pursue their own dreams. Couples from the East may have a cooperative ability to solve problems and can be less self-preserving and look to a wider group for progress.
You the readers can decide what values can be picked from the two different cultures. Maybe a balance of the two can provide a more healthy and a longer lasting relationship.
Tags: arranged marriage, eastern marriages, marriage east & west, western marriages
An interesting set of conundrums for Bill at the Barber Shop
Tuesday, August 16th, 2016
One of our employees called Bill was telling us about an interesting event that occurred whilst visiting a barber shop that led to many conundrums.
Typical barber shop - place of many conundrums? image courtesy clintonbarber.com
This was his second visit to this particular shop. As he was entering the barber shop a little boy of about seven beat him to the door and inside there was the same barber who cut his hair over a month ago and gave Bill the hi-five. Meanwhile the kid approached two ladies sitting down and seemed to know them and then went to the barber’s chair to sit down to have his haircut. Bill thought he would wait, plus there were three other barbers there and they seemed to be finishing off haircuts to the customers there.
Bill sort of pointed to the kid while looking at the barber as though he was going to get the hair-cut first and proceeded to sit down on a bench facing the barber. After about 5-10 mins. one of the barbers about 2 seats down had finished and Bill thought there was a chance that he would have his turn now. It turns out that this barber didn’t even exchange eye contact with Bill and went to the back of the shop. Bill’s first conundrum was whether there was some kind of mistake and whether the man had just gone to the back for a break. Bill waited and the man came back and just sat with his other barber friend. Bill’s second conundrum - the barber must have assumed that Bill wanted a haircut with the barber that greeted him with a hi-five. Bill also concluded that various customers liked to have their haircut by selected barbers and he would not want to offend anyone by taking the customer away. So Bill didn’t say anything and made the decision to wait.
About 15 mins. elapses and two women with a kid walk into the shop and asks the barber whether he would cut the child’s hair. The barber looks at Bill and speaks in Spanish, Bill replies that he doesn’t understand Spanish and the barber asks whether Bill was going to get the haircut. Bill simply nodded without thinking and the barber says that it would be after Bill but he turned around and saw a free barber and asked him whether he could cut the kid’s hair. Some of our astute readers might have picked up the cue of what was happening here but Bill was unaware of what was going on as he already felt that he ‘belonged’ to this barber. So the new kid gets his haircut by one of the free barber. Here is another conundrum - maybe Bill should have spoken out and asked why they were getting a haircut after him but Bill assumed that he needs to honor the barbers code of conduct. After all, he didn’t know any better.
After about 30 mins in where Bill was becoming increasingly impatient as the barber seemed to be taking so much time, two guys walk into the shop. They seemed to know the barber that was supposedly going to cut Bill’s hair and asked about getting a haircut for his friend he was with. He (Bill’s barber) called out to another free barber and asked whether he could cut his hair. Around this time the woman who seemed to be related to the kid that was having his haircut came and sat near Bill. The conundrum started to sink into Bill and he looked at his clock and made a decision that if the barber went beyond another 5 mins. he would simply walk out of the shop. His frustration was that not that the other people were getting his haircut but the barber seemed to take a lot of time over this kid. It was nearing 40 mins. when Bill was about to walk out of the shop but luckily the barber just finished.
So a very interesting conversation ensued as the kid got of the salon chair and the barber pointed to Bill to sit down. As he was doing so the ‘mother’ of the kid was having a conversation in Spanish. Bill got the jist of this conversation when the barber seemed to imply that Bill was with the mother and the kid and she swung her head and the barber gave a big sigh in surprise and patted Bill on the head. Bill knew that this was a mistake on the part of the barber to assume that Bill had come into the shop with the kid. Bill now wondered how the barber was going to behave but the barber did not provide an apology or say anything about the matter. Bill finally got his haircut and measured on his watch how long the barber took to cut his hair compared to the previous kid that he did. Bill’s time was 28 mins compared to the kid before him which took 45 mins. Maybe the barber wanted to speed things up knowing that Bill had waited patiently all this time.
The readers may want to get involved in this episode of conundrums. There were many possibilities and both parties maybe to blame for Bill not getting his haircut in a timely manner. Maybe the waiting game was not a big deal in the culture that the barber grew up in. What would you do and why?
Tags: barber shop, conundrum, misunderstanding
Detecting arrogance - Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs
Monday, August 15th, 2016
The subject of arrogance is extremely wrought with uncertainty since many of us can associate to some extent to the qualities of arrogance due to our egotistical nature. We at Jumpdates ThinkTank Labs have fed conversations on this topic through our unique machine language algorithms and came up with some insights.
Arrogance means different to different people
To categorize as someone being arrogant is in a way putting yourself in their shoes and making assumptions and deductions that you somehow have a superior handle on arrogance than they have. If you say, you spotted arrogance, does this mean that the other person is not aware of his/her arrogant behavior. Maybe you are right, because you sympathize with the notions of arrogance and for you to characterize that quality in others means you have more experience in the real world and is in a better position to make that statement. Are you really?
People’s definition of arrogance will differ from one person to another. Suppose you asked or posed that question to the person who you are implying is arrogant. For example a direct question ‘Are you arrogant or do you have arrogant traits’. What do you think the most likely responses would be? Maybe you will get a very diplomatic response or maybe you will get back anger and resentment. Who is to say that one is right and the other is not.
You just need to search the internet for thousands of articles posted on this subject and if you chose to understand the topic, then you are probably in the small percentage who cares as much. However, the fact that people don’t feel the necessity of understanding every topic under the sun, or taking an inherent interest does not imply that they have shortcomings in those particular topics. Maybe through their experience they are able to spot people with certain characteristics than the next person who has gone through many books on psychology.
It has been said that any shortcomings in human beings is a product of the person not being aware of those shortcomings. So, you could say that someone who is arrogant will not be able to find true definition of the meaning and thus try to correct themselves. This begs the question of how much should you be yourself in group or ‘toe the line’ with respect to others in terms of dignity, respect, society etc as a whole.
It has also been said that it takes one to know one. Maybe the arrogant person already knows his shortcomings and have leveraged it to his advantage to overpower and control others around him. After all ‘arrogance’ with all its negative connotations has perceived qualities that others may be craving for. For example, the person who lacks confidence. You don’t need to look too far for those kinds of people, we have one running for the White House and has millions of supporters.
Many topics on this subject advises people to steer away from these kinds of people. But the argument could be, how can you deal with these people effectively if you had no choice but to work with them for whatever reason. Maybe you are being a coward from running away from those people and not be able to deal with them. Maybe you are doing yourself injustice in mixing with more ‘normal’ people around you and incubating yourself from potentially good relationships with other people. You know what they say ‘birds of a feather, stick together’!
The point being made is that when it comes to ‘arrogance’, there are no black and white decisions that you can make and can label someone uniquely in this category. Like I was saying earlier, some people can ‘show-off’ to a potential mate that they are interested in and anyone else peering in may find this person ‘extremely arrogant’. We all have egos and some to a lower extent and others to a higher extent. We all have to live together and make choices and maybe for a particular group of people they have worked out their differences and get by. Maybe for those people who are struggling with their own internal issues find themselves out of tune with the rest of society. Who knows? But one of the highest esteemed human trait that can be found in anyone, is the ability to self-reflect and see it objectively from another’s point of view.
Tags: arrogance meaning, arrogant, detecting arrogance, jumpdates thinktank
Couples behavior to each other has a profound psychological effect on children
Friday, August 12th, 2016
It is not difficult to see that children growing up in a household develops personalities based around the family members. At an early age say 5-10, children have no references to base their opinion on and naturally they look to their parents or elders to satisfy their curious minds. What many parents fail to realize is that the part they play in those tender ages can have a profound psychological bearing on the upbringing of the child. We often hear of stories where troubled people going into their adulthood almost always blame how they came to be on their parents. You may have heard cases where the ‘mature’ adult has blamed his aggressive nature because his father used to beat him up badly. Or the case where the ‘mature’ woman finds it difficult to make important decisions since the mother always used to remind her of that.
Parenting requires understanding your own behavior
I put apostrophes around the word mature, because maturity would indicate knowing your shortcomings and trying to do something about it rather than blame another for the situation you are in. Many people go through life without ever realizing their shortcomings and this becomes even more important when it comes to raising children. We may feel that what we do or think should not have any bearing on the child, but it has a huge effect! Unless you pay attention to the small subtleties that children are picking up from the conversations and actions you have with them or your spouse, you may be sending mixed signals which will affect them for years to come. Your actions will be all important to the development of your child. I will give you another example of a careless approach that parents overlook on no fault of their own but the damaging effect it can have on their children.
Take the case of a young woman who wants to buy a house and to move out of the family protection to be more independant. Unfortunately, the parents have their own views on the cost of a home and upon finding out that their 28 year old daughter had gone and made an offer on an house that they feel to be too high, there is naturally tension between them. However, the odd thing is that the parents encouraged her to go and look for a house that she wants to buy. However, it pains them to think that their own daughter has paid too much on the house and she should relinquish it. The father then decides that he will take on the responsibility of finding a house for her daughter and so she agrees. You may be wondering, what is wrong with that? There are several problems with this..for a start the parents have given her freedom and then almost immediately took it away. This is why you are going to get children into adulthood who are insecure in their decision making. The whole idea of buying a house in the first place was the decision of the daughter. Secondly, the parents are dearly wanting the daughter to see her find her own happiness in being independent and eventually settling down to get married. The parents have always griped about how she can’t do this or do that and not able to stand up for herself. So now you can understand the damage that parents are unknowingly bringing to their children. These actions only creates a cyclical event within the family time and time again, in one hand you have parents who want their children to be independant but on the other they are incapable of making important decisions in their lives.
What the parents have failed to realize is that their actions came about on the factor of money and thereby giving more importance to that and taking away the important factor of independent thinking. Their daughter who obviously also with the same mindset like their parents does in fact agree and ends up also making a wrong decision herself and so the cycle repeats.
There is no single solution to parenting, but the most important thing to understand is when you say something, really mean it. Otherwise whatever you say will be empty in substance because you would be prepared to retract from it if something does not meet your expectations.
Tags: independence, parenting, practice preach
