Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Understanding Narcissism- Helping you to better yourself - Dr Dato’s Insight - Part 1
Wednesday, November 21st, 2012
You probably have heard the word narcissism used to characterize particular groups of people who are very egotistical, arrogant and generally tend to be males. Women however, can also display strong characteristics of this personality trait. Not many people know that all of us have some degree of narcissistic behavior within us and it is important how this behavior can affect our external behavior with other fellow human beings. Understanding narcissism is important in relationships as it will help you better understand yourself and help in your relationship building.
understanding-narcissism-helping-you-to-better-yourself
Narcissistic personality disorders usually stems from a person who feels that they are always the center of attention. They usually don’t have any empathy towards other persons and their lives always revolves around them. As a result, they are usually arrogant, always value their opinions over others and feel they have a right to entitlement. A quick and good test to see if you border on narcissistic characteristics is to take the online test from here…
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm
I happen to take this test and scored 12, which is on the normal scale (:-). However, when I looked at my test for the areas where I scored high, I found that it was in the area of wanting attention to power. This is understandable since I do know that i have to exercise some power over the things I do in my everyday life. I constantly strive to improve myself and push myself so I can discover not only more about myself but able to get things done rapidly. This can come out as a power-struggle in some of the people I work with and I always know that I have to balance this character with the abilities and hopes of others. The quiz also explains that a score of 18 can signify that you are a celebrity where your attention is normally focused on themselves. A score above 18 can signify strong narcissistic qualities which you may need to address. I do encourage you to take the test to see the kind of things you have a tendency to do more than usual so you get a better insight into yourself.
In relationships, where one of the partners is a narcissists the relationship could become strained and it is up to each one of us to do something about it. It is a commonly held belief that a narcissist will pair up with someone who has low self-esteem. Usually men with their aggressive dominant behavior can be instantly attracted by women who are usually more subservient. However, over time as they become more accustomed to their personalities and grow to learn more about each other, their maybe a departure from their original personalities and blame ensues as the relationship develops. Please review the recent article on self-esteem where the topic of narcissism can be thinly veiled within a relationship.
A Visual Aid to understanding Narcissism and the world you live in
In order to better understand how we view ourselves within our environment, I have created a few illustrations to help us appreciate our shortcomings and attempt to improve ourselves. Remember, I have always emphasized in my previous articles that any beneficial changes that you are seeking in your life has to come from within YOU. Do not expect other people to change for you because you demand it, or you enforce it through coercive methods… this normally never works. In fact, using the latter methods always lead to personality conflicts and more frustration within the relationship that you are trying to build. Truly understanding yourself and changing your ways can bring the maximum benefit to any situation when working and living with other people. This requires more effort in ‘removing’ yourself from the own you ‘ego’ and looking into yourself in context of other people in your environment and situation. Eckhart explained this situation well in his book ‘The Power of Now’, where he once found himself very depressed and repeatedly saying to himself ‘I shouldn’t be here’. This opened his eyes to the fact that he was addressing himself in a two-way conversation with himself and gave way to his teachings of interpreting your thoughts and behavior from the mental noise that carries your life (see references below).
Tags: attraction, men, relationships, women
Science of Contacting Online Date - For Men
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
It’s no hidden secret that both men and women have different psychology, they think differently in a given scenario and have very different ways to handle similar situations.
Science of Contacting Online Date - For Men
Men have a more practical approach towards relationships and females have an emotional way to handle their relationship. There is nothing wrong in both approaches but, there are different situations where each can be applied.
Most men make mistakes while contacting women for the first time. Free dating sites have become the most happening place to find dates for online singles. But like in real life men make mistakes online as they first approach a women.
Here are Top FOUR thing men should avoid online when contacting women –
1. Find Similar Traits – Don’t create a template to send messages to your latest find on free dating sites. Read the entire profile of your match and try to find what’s common in both of you have then contact her with those points in your message.
2. Don’t write an essay – It’s good to write something about you but, writing an essay is a big no. Don’t sound like you are making a sales pitch with your entire bio that talk about how good you are. Write 2 or 3 lines highlighting something unique about yourself and of course anything that caught your eye about the other persons profile.
3. Avoid arrogance – it’s good to have self confidence but over confidence is bad. There is a fine line between confidence and over confidence. Never try to oversell yourself, honesty is the basis of any friendship and there will be plenty of other ways to catch your princess.
4. Come out of cyber world – You guys have been exchanging messages on free dating sites for one week now and feel that both of you make a good pair. Most singles make mistakes in expressing it and just could not move ahead from being just a pen pal. Get out of the cyber-world of dating and take your date to the next level by meeting offline.
Following these steps there would be gradual improvements in your online dating experience. Comment on this article and tell us what are your suggestions to have an eventful online dating experience.
Posted in Dating Help for Men | 4 Comments »
Tags: Free Dating Sites, online dating mistakes, Online singles, psychology of men and women, relationships, Science of Contacting Online Date - For Men
Does the acquisition of money empower you to love more? - Part 1
Friday, May 11th, 2012
We all know that money makes the world go around and some have very little or none at all whereas others have a huge boatful. In a materialistic world such as ours, money becomes essential to afford the daily needs of life ie. sustenance, paying bills, buying the necessities of life. To what extent we are able to do this is determined by our earning power.
Does the acquisition of money empower you to love more? - Part 1
It can be a terrible burden when money becomes scarce and we are all likely to feel very demoralized and it usually ends up impacting our relationships with our loved one or partners. For most of us, we don’t need that much money but sufficient to have a somewhat comfortable life.
In recent studies it has been shown that money has been looked upon by people with intense emotions attached to it. This can make money a crucial catalyst in our daily attitude to life and how we interact with our partner and effectively forge our own destiny. The housing price increases witnessed in the US prior to the 2008 crash is a testament to people’s craving for money and the emotion they can easily attach to this. People definitely like to acquire money in any which way they can and when something moves at a large scale their original ideas of risks are diminished such is the craving for money.
Does the acquisition of money empower you to love more? - Part 2
Tags: Add new tag, comfortable life, daily needs, dating partner, Does the acquisition of money empower you to love more? - Part 1, earning power, emotions, love, marriages, money, relationships
Who’s proposing First by Going down on Knees
Thursday, May 10th, 2012
Who should propose first, men or women? This is one of the most debated topics when it comes to relationships. Ever since men and women discovered the feelings called love this existed and they seems to carry the same when they come to proposing on free dating sites.
whoe's-proposing-first-by-going-down-on-knees
Here is the scenario of a long distance relationship as online singles meet on free dating sites and start messaging each other and still hesitate to propose. Study shows that women are more apprehensive in proposing first which could be the reason why they are a lot choosier than males and this is why even in online messaging women don’t take the initiative and propose and also as per the law of nature women take nine months to reproduce.
This choosy behavior of females can be witnessed in other different areas like they take more time in shopping than males or making decisions in choosing what to eat when they hang out and even on free dating sites as they scroll through hundreds of sites. This is almost the laws of nature and going down to the knees and proposing is something a man has to do for decades to come.
Comment on this and tell us what you think are the reasons why women don’t take the initiative.
Tags: Free Dating Sites, jumpdates.com, law of nature, online messaging, propose online, relationships, Who’s proposing First by Going down on Knees
Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 3
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2
Reactivity and proactivity can go much further than the role of wife-husband or girlfriend-boyfriend relationships. One of the reasons why people can be frustrated with their own lives is because they may be playing a more reactive role without them knowing about it. For example your job doesn’t dictate the real values instilled in you and all you are required to do is produce without asking questions. You may find over time that the frustration starts to creep in and you blame your situation to the outside world rather than yourself. Here is pause for concern, since your inner self is showing signs of defeat, you need to muster up and ask yourself what you must to do to change the situation. Many people who are in positions such as this tend to compartmentalize their life between work and play. In work, they don’t really care much about the outcome as long as they get by and tend to channel their inert energy into their homes or families.
Another important factor regarding this dual role is that some may take it upon themselves as a sign of weakness. A man who always like to think of himself as the more dominant role will find that being reactionary to any situation especially within the roles of the relationship will consider it as a weakness on his part. This may lead him to be overly domineering and stubborn without any social grace to manage conflicting situations that usually arise in relationships. Similarly a woman who may be frustrated with her previous relationships starts adopting a more aggressive stance in her current relationship and thus ignores the subtleties required to keep the relationship fluid and moving.
In short, the reactionary and proactive roles can come from a deep seated frustration within us and it’s important to understand that it is always a good idea to give as well as take.
Tags: dominant role, Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 3, girlfriend-boyfriend, relationships, weakness, wife-husband
