Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
Essential gender criterias in the dating game - part 4
Monday, April 23rd, 2012
essential-gender-criterias-in-the-dating-game-part-3
A woman who is in her early 40s will have some initial difficulty in attracting younger men especially if they do not have the financial success that some men could compromise with. The assessment of personality in most cases by men do not come until they are well into the relationship. In this case, the relationship could have a stronger footing based on a union of trust and likeability rather than just on financial grounds. It could be the reason why many women in their late age do so much to look young and to attract the younger men into their lives. A majority of men would always like to leave the option of having offsprings with their partner and older women of 40s have a lower chance of conceiving as a result of menopause. Still this does not preclude many men to pursue older women who belong to that category but women need to exercise caution when selecting their partners. The men should be in the relationship for the long-haul unless the woman too is looking for a frivolous short-term fun and excitement.
For the average man and woman amongst us who are not fortunate enough to have the financial success that some enjoy the selection of dating partners becomes even more distinct and may even be construed as gender discriminatory. Older women will find it even harder to attract potentially young males and older men will continue to enjoy their prowess with younger ladies. Looks alone will not be sufficient for older ladies since younger men will also have more energy and enthusiasm for life and many older women will not be able to keep up.
Does one end up accepting their own fate in the gender cycle or does one always do something about it? I believe it depends on an individual’s personality and the way one goes about judging their own youth and old age. I am of the opinion that one should depart oneself from the constant thought of growing older and the negative thoughts that this brings. Life should be about learning, experiencing different things, excelling yourself in mind and physical activities. If you find yourself not having enough time during the day to do everything you want to do then you are probably heading in the right direction.
Tags: assessment of personality, Essential gender criterias in the dating game - part 4, financial success, older ladies, relationship, woman who is in her early 40s
Essential gender criterias in the dating game - part 3
Monday, April 23rd, 2012
essential-gender-criterias-in-the-dating-game-part-2
Make no bones about the fact that many women are intrigued and drawn by money and power and why shouldn’t they be? After all in this expensive world we live in, a stable husband with a roof over his head and the means to support a family through thick and thin are prime desirable qualities. Men who fall into this category can easily command the interest of many women he meets, but don’t forget that women too are also picky about the nature of the ‘beast’ within. Men’s personalities have to reflect strengths in many areas and in addition to a caring nature has the ability to stand independently in the face of adversity. This is why often ‘drive’ in a men is a very pleasing quality to women. Now, if you were to tip this role to the female side where they show similar traits of a man such as strength of character, good financial success etc. the view from a man’s side is very different.
Most men like to feel that they are the strongest of the genders and they will be the protectors and providers of the family and many women have no problems with this. However, when the situation is reversed as described above then some men will feel that their role is somewhat diminished and may even feel intimidated. See the Jumpdates article on ‘What it must be like to date a famous celebrity” to see some of the examples of relationship strains when two people of polarized wealth get together.
Related dating article - What must it be like to a date a famous celebrity? – Part 1
The question whether age differences matter between two couples depends on the situation and to much extent on the individuals themselves. Most women do not have any issues dating older men and their reasoning could be very different from one another. However, some of the most important factors tend to be the ‘intrigue and maturity’ as well as the financial power that the older man brings into the relationship. Plus the biological makeup of the man is such that they can continue to bear offspring well into their late age.
Tags: date a famous celebrity, Essential gender criterias in the dating game - part 3, intrigue and maturity, Men’s personalities, off springs, relationship, women are intrigued
Essential gender criterias in the dating game - part 1
Sunday, April 22nd, 2012
I once dated a woman who found it odd that younger men were unwilling to date her and consider her as a long term dating partner or marriage. This came as a surprise to me since I always understood this rule to be of general acceptance ie. older men are more likely to date younger women than vice versa. However, it begs the question as to why this is the case and are there changing trends?
There are multitude of reasons why one gender in general tend to swing the power in their favor when it comes to dating and the marriage game. This perhaps may have to do with the evolution of men and women over time where they needed to co-exist together for survival and procreation. Men simply through their physique have extraordinary powers of strengths and agility and this will not change with time. One has to observe the Olympics to see the differential in times for speed, agility and strengths in all sports activities when comparing the two genders. This gift made men the aggressors of their own race and they were primarily hunters and protectors of their society. It seemed befitting that in the early years of man’s evolution the women would play a vital and integral part to the society by cooking, bearing children and maintaining a home.
This was the ‘organic’ growth of mankind where very few questions were raised towards the gender differences and equality did not set in until a more ‘civilized’ race was born. Although the strengths of women were well understood in society but with the advent of the industrial era skilled workers in the form of men and women changed and even created controversy over the traditional roles of women. Rightly so, women wanted equal rights in certain areas such as pay for the same job functions as men. Another apparent change that was happening due to the working women were their roles at home. Many women at that time courageously worked outside for a living as well as diligently attending to the needs of the home. This may have sparked the thinking behind many of the women’s movements in the last century.
Although one can see the changes in the gender roles both at home and at work, this was not the catalyst for the movements. It was a movement against the male dominated society where they exercised old rules based on tradition and not adapting fast enough to keep up with the changing times. This may be partly due to the ignorance of many or the desire to change or a fear of those changes. However, one cannot look at the macroscopic scale of the changes since there were perfectly contented couples and families that lived a harmonious life together. This clearly shows that the movements are always a result of a few who feel that many are ‘suppressed’ and need waking up.
Here lies another important question, “if a man and a woman are happy and living their lives in a contented manner, does anyone have a right to come into their lives and say it could be any different or better”. Who is to say that a native South American villager living deep in the hearts of the Amazon jungle will be enthralled with receiving an iPod. The point is, the constant outside influence by marketeers, sales people, bombastic tv commercials and the internet are all influencing us in many ways than one. It is up to the individual on how to assimilate this information and use it effectively and most importantly correctly and apply it to their own lives. Intelligent people will take all the information around them with a pinch of salt but keep their focus on the important things in life such as the family, future health and prospects etc.
Tags: Essential gender criterias in the dating game, gender differences, marriage game, marriages, older men, older women, online dating scene, potential date, potential partners, relationship, younger men, younger women
Can a break-up with your long dating partner be like a bereavement?
Thursday, April 19th, 2012
Many of us at times during our lives have witnessed the death of a loved one and we know how painful that can be. Can the same apply to someone who we have been dating for several years and suddenly decide to call it quits.
Many dating couples do eventually decide to break-up and some do it amicably while for others the break-up can be a messy affair. This becomes more complicated when couples are married or have children and decided they can no longer live together. The fact is that so much time and investment has been put into this relationship that a break-up will naturally have consequences. However, since we are comparing bereavement to a break-up, are the two similar in certain respects or are there specific differences?
Bereavement by definition implies the sorrow and loss of a loved one specifically after the death of someone. Being humans, we all have a natural ability to come out of this state of mind and correct ourselves but there is the distinct possibility that side effects can occur as a result of suppression and mental control (*1). The paper by Daniel M Wegner of Harvard University concludes that suppressing mental thoughts can lead to more accessibility of the thought to consciousness and some side-effects. In other words, there will be some differences in the case of bereavement and the loss of a break-up if we examine it from a psychological point of view.
One could also compare the case of bereavement of a long standing couple who have been married or dating for many years with the case of the couple having a break-up. How do the feelings and subsequent mental thoughts and anguish compare with each other for the two different cases above? One can argue that the loss through bereavement will be greater than a loss from a break-up. But this is easily said but in practise we know the lengthy and mental anguish of couples who go through separation and divorce.
The differences in the two cases is down to the mental coping. We know that when someone passes away there is nothing we can do and our fears and anxieties are of our own doing. It’s possible that we can cope with this better than a break-up from a love relationship. In the latter case we know that person is already alive and our torment could be greater because we can always try to convince ourselves of the fact that things could have been different and the relationship could have worked out. These thoughts can have a significant effect in one’s own self and can impact the individual’s thinking for years to come. A substitute through another dating relationship can alleviate the problem but if the intensity of the last relationship was very high, the lingering thoughts will remain in the person for many years.
It is highly possible that the subsequent feelings from a break-up of a love affair can be equal or more than the case of feelings emanating from a bereavement.
*1 Thought supression and mental control
http://www.wjh.harvard.edu/~wegner/pdfs/ECS.pdf
Tags: Bereavement, break-up, Can a break-up with your long dating partner be like bereavement?, Daniel M Wegner, dating couples, psychological point of view on dating, relationship, who have been married or dating
New Free Dating Sites Running Out of Ideas for Matchmaking
Monday, April 16th, 2012
Online singles are very much aware about the matchmaking algorithms on different paid and free dating sites like pof.com, eHarmony and others. These sites match the interest, traits, background and other vital factors that make the relationship a strong union. Many of these matching algorithms are patented by these dating sites.
But, what about the algorithms that check your social activity on commenting systems such as Klout and does an improved matchmaking for you. Yes, it’s true the new free dating sites - Tawkify recently launched this matching algorithm to match online single. They feel that Klout measure the online influence of singles and it’s the best idea for matching singles.
This means that two online singles who have similar Klout score will be a good match for each other. However, if one or both of them become inactive on the web – especially on social networking then what? He or she then would not be a good match for other. This way of matching online singles on free dating sites look attractive but, in the long it does not seem practical.
It seems the basic idea on matching online singles on free dating sites is not worthwhile and even if they match singles on the Klout score what will be the future of the relationship? Jumpdates has serious doubts on the future of matching online singles.
Comment on this and share your views on this kind of matchmaking algorithm.
Tags: free daiting sites, Klout score, matching algorithms, matchmaking, New Free Dating Sites Running Out of Ideas for Matchmaking, relationship, Tawkify