Posts Tagged ‘relationship’
What are boundaries and how can it help us in our relationships?
Friday, May 18th, 2012
All of us have boundaries and to what extent we push these boundaries can define our own personality and the opinion of others. Let me give you a simple example, if we remain within the boundaries of our own town or city we are not experiencing the full measure of the different experiences of other cities or towns let alone other countries or cultures. We do this of our own volition and it can clearly define what boundaries we have set for our own selves and naturally affects the way we interact with people and in our own relationships.
What are boundaries and how can it help us in our relationships
In addition to the boundaries that we have set within ourselves which is usually determined by our own comfort zone, some of us open those boundaries with interactions with others. It may be due to financial constraints or some other that we simply cannot extend our boundaries in order to embody the full experiences of the unknown that often lift us higher. In such cases we have the human interaction that can give us a glimpse of the outer boundaries. We often find that older people through their wisdom can be very accommodating to our own needs and requirements in which case they have opened up their own boundaries through the interaction of their loved ones.
How do we go about extending our boundaries such that it enriches all of our lives? To a large extent, this has been done through the internet with the readily available information at our fingertips. It is important to remember that in addition to this vast array of knowledge which sparks of interest and passion, we have the capacity to reach out to people who have very new experiences than ourselves. This enables us to extend our own boundaries and enhance the quality of our lives and at the same time develop very likeable qualities perceived by other people.
Tags: boundaries of relationship, internet dating, passion, people, relationship, What are boundaries and how can it help us in our relationships?
Effective communication with assertion are keys to a good relationship - Part 2
Thursday, May 10th, 2012
Effective communication with assertion are keys to a good relationship - Part 1
The problems of communication are further exacerbated when one speaks with more conviction than the other. In this situation, this person takes on a lead role and is able to exercise more control and the outcome of the conversation. Effectively the power is rendered to that individual without he or she not knowing about it. It is important that each one has to assert their own rights in order for the relationship to work. If the other person is mature enough, they will give you room to voice your opinions and also your rights as an individual. However, in many cases this power and control can be highly provocative to the individual exercising it, then it becomes difficult to divulge any of this power. Hence the significant importance of assertion.
If assertion does not work through communication via conversation there are other methods which one could deploy such as the silent treatment. However, one must realize that it is far better to communicate your feelings and ideas rather than resort to such tactics. If you are finding yourself not communicating effectively, it is likely that there is a power struggle in the relationship and the ideas or feelings are simply not being communicated effectively through assertion.
Tags: communicating effectively, communication, Effective communication with assertion are keys to a good relationship - Part 2, relationship
The nature of shortcomings in people - be mentally prepared
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
We all make mistakes and in the areas of couple relationships or when we are dating, the nature of our mistakes can become even more exaggerated. The question that follows, is what is the best way to deal with shortcomings in people.
Firstly, you will need to understand that everyone has shortcomings and our point of reference for people’s shortcomings are entirely based on our own experience. For example, if we feel that we do this and that and our partner is not able to do this and that, then this becomes a shortcoming in the other partner in our own eyes. Equally, your partner will also have a list of potential shortcomings in you! This is where couples learn to adjust and understand that this is the way of the nature and by talking about the subject often helps one to make reconciliations.
Often couples will try to aim for an exchange the services of their shortcomings. For example, you may be a good cook, then I cook and do the dishes. However, in my experience, this division of labor can lead to many problems and often induces self-frustration and leads to complications in the relationship. I believe, it is ok to divide some of the chores of the household or other matters but be very careful in not to take this too far. After all, you are both a couple and not a relationship of convenience.
It is important to know that aside from giving each other tasks based on each other’s shortcomings, is that you continue to overlap and look at many tasks that you can do together. Going out on a date night is ok, but there are plenty of other activities that will forge the relationship between you and your partner and make your relationship a more committed one. Try to think outside the box and do something totally different together instead of the usual walks, trips and regular activities that you are used to. The act of giving and doing something together are some of the paramount ways to build strong relationships.
Tags: couple relationships, date night, dating partner, relationship, The nature of shortcomings in people - be mentally prepared
Office Dating- Get Your Work and Dating on Different Tracks
Saturday, May 5th, 2012
Busy schedules and fast paced life have left young singles with no time to socialize and think of their dating life. Young singles spend most of their time in offices where they come into contact with their coworkers a fair amount than anywhere else apart from the home.
Office Dating is on the rise
This is very natural in that the more you come into contact with your coworker the more you get attracted. However getting romantic with your coworker can also get you into tangles, especially if you relationship does not work out well.
Here are some of the hazards of office romance –
1. You spend lot of your time with your coworker and need a change but your dating coworker would not give you the opportunity to socialize with others.
2. Dating your senior or junior coworker can drag you to unwanted situations where you might be accused of favoritism. If this goes up to higher management it could cost your job.
3. There is always a lot of politics involved in the office environment, and you will find yourself in a strange land and any career decisions that you make could be jeopardized.
There is an old saying that one should not mix business with pleasure. However there are also good reasons to date your coworker and we will discuss this in our upcoming article.
Please comment in this article as to what you feel would be the relationship breaker in an office romance.
Tags: dating coworker, dating life, Office Dating- Get Your Work and Dating on Different Tracks, office romance, relationship, relationship breaker, Young Singles
Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 1
That being said, unless you have a large body of interests with your partner, you are most likely to fall into one of the two categories in the relationship. Though I could be wrong, since numerous closed studies would be needed between couples in order to elucidate the following facts. One of the individuals within the relationships will need to take on each of the roles ie. reactivity and proactivity. In many relationships where the men are the most masculine and the strongest of the genders, the role of proactivity may go to them whereas the females will have a more reactivity type role. Based on my experience, these type of roles can have serious underpinnings and grievances to the entire relationship if it’s not properly understood.
Take the case of a young couple where the female has understands her role to be fixed in any men vs women relationship. She would expect her partner to make most of the moves regarding where they go on a date and what he chooses to do or decide. It is very similar to the animal kingdom where the male is the predator when it comes to hunting females for mating. In this situation, the male over time may have certain expectations from the females and the female needs to be able to see this and play a more active role. However, it is entirely possible that a female who appears to be in a reactive role is ‘in fact’ playing a subtle ‘proactive’ role. For example, she induces a reactionary role within the partner just simply by observation and making subtle moves. This could also stem from the women’s survival skills to hold on to her partner so that she has someone who can father her children and will always be around for this.
It is a cautionary tale of love & conquests that we hear of from many romantic novels and movies. The roles of proactivity and reactivity are significant factors that come into play in a relationship without many men or women being aware of it. For some people who are skilled in the art of seduction, they may have a good handle on this technique and many men and women may unwittingly fall for this. Next time you find yourself being pulled in a certain direction, you may want to think for a moment whether you are in fact playing a proactive or a reactive role.
Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 3
Tags: couples, Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2, Partner, relationship
