Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2

Reactivity and proactivity can go much further than the role of wife-husband or girlfriend-boyfriend relationships. One of the reasons why people can be frustrated with their own lives is because they may be playing a more reactive role without them knowing about it. For example your job doesn’t dictate the real values instilled in you and all you are required to do is produce without asking questions. You may find over time that the frustration starts to creep in and you blame your situation to the outside world rather than yourself. Here is pause for concern, since your inner self is showing signs of defeat, you need to muster up and ask yourself what you must to do to change the situation. Many people who are in positions such as this tend to compartmentalize their life between work and play. In work, they don’t really care much about the outcome as long as they get by and tend to channel their inert energy into their homes or families.

Another important factor regarding this dual role is that some may take it upon themselves as a sign of weakness. A man who always like to think of himself as the more dominant role will find that being reactionary to any situation especially within the roles of the relationship will consider it as a weakness on his part. This may lead him to be overly domineering and stubborn without any social grace to manage conflicting situations that usually arise in relationships. Similarly a woman who may be frustrated with her previous relationships starts adopting a more aggressive stance in her current relationship and thus ignores the subtleties required to keep the relationship fluid and moving.

In short, the reactionary and proactive roles can come from a deep seated frustration within us and it’s important to understand that it is always a good idea to give as well as take.