Posts Tagged ‘dating etiquette’
Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 4 - Messaging other members
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
Article Subject: Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 3 - Messaging other members
Dr. Dato’s Brief:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
In part 3 of this series, we talked about the opening line of a message and how it impacts readership of the recipient depending on the opening line. Here we talk about the actual message itself and how you can improve on this based on information that we have gathered from the Jumpdates.com database.
In similar fashion to having a good unique opening line to garner an interest, the same is true of your actual message and the type of message is different for both men and women. Words that we have found that often invokes interest are “your name”, “you mentioned”, “like your taste”, “noticed that”. This would probably imply that you have read something of the profile and you were not just simply doing an email blast to all the respective members.
From a man’s perspective of creating a unique message, the actual wording should at least reflect something of the profile and on top of that craft an interesting sentence out of this. For example, suppose that you found a females profile that you liked and there was information on how she loved dancing. You could say something like “I recently saw this dance show an old movie where the dance show blew me away, did you by chance see that movie…”. Women are generally looking for someone to connect with, so try to make that type of emotional connection which will get them noticing you.
For a women, it can be a different ball game, because its often the male who is the pursuer and the female is the benefactor. However, in the world of dating this has all changed and women can now equally do what men has done over time without having to feel pushed or cornered into making decisions. The online tools on the website available to women make this possible ie. being able to block users, comprehensive search to find potential partners etc. It is therefore incumbent upon them to take full advantage of this and find a more matched profile which is to their liking. To attract men that you find worthy of communicating, try to look over the profile and find something of interest to write about in your subject line. Generally, it is wise to keep the conversation to a minimum if its the first time you are communicating with that person. Say something along with a catch subject line like “I would be interested to hear more about your interest…” or “I know someone who does exactly what you do and…”, “By the way, I have a shirt just like that color…”.
Read this post that has more information ideally suited to men, who want to create that connection that will get them noticed.
writing effective messages is a must in online dating
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Tags: dating etiquette, dating tips advice, introducing yourself, optimized dating messages
Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 3 - Opening a message with a member
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
Article Subject: Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 3 - Opening message with other members
Dr. Dato’s Brief:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Messaging is an important aspect of online dating and getting this right is all important in getting the attention of female or male members that have caught you eye.
Some of the insights we have gleaned from the Jumpdates database of members activity is that the quality of the message is key to get a higher rate of response. For example, introducing yourself with an opening remark such as ‘hi’ as opposed to say ‘how are you’ has a profound effect on the replies. However, keep in mind that the usage of words is all in the matter of context, for example if you are already engaged in a conversation, ‘hi’ is perfectly acceptable. What we are talking about here is the opening line to a new conversation with a member.
Like all other email applications that we use today, we generally open the email after viewing the ‘from’ and the ’subject’ line, so it is imperative that the subject line has something of interest. A simple ‘hi’ may do the job for some people but to be more effective, try some catchy lines such as ‘Wasn’t the weather dreadful today?’, ‘You will be astounded when you read this..’, ‘Hmm, you are into salsa dancing’, I think you get my drift.
Speaking from the men’s point of view, if you target a woman who happens to be very good looking then you can assume that she will be inundated with many messages. The trick is to sound unique which will create a sufficient interest or buzz for her to open and read your message.
From the women’s perspective, it is generally a good idea to view all the incoming mail, because you may find that a ‘hidden gem’ lurks underneath those unassuming messages.
Try not to be too dismissive and base your opinion on just the mail alone, because a profile description will never be able to replace the face-to-face meeting which can be very different from each other. Like all communication with other people, try to be courteous as possible, I am sure you would expect to be treated in the same manner.
be unique and courteous in your opening line in online dating
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Tags: dating advice, dating and messaging, dating etiquette, dating tips
Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 2 - Making your profile stand out
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
Article Subject: Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 2 - Making your profile stand-out
Dr. Dato’s Brief:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Apart from using good grammar and properly structured sentences to your profile description, you can also do a number of other tweaks so that it really does stand out of the crowd!
Try to sound like an action man or woman, instead of giving a laborious detail about your life’s wants and needs. It has been found through our extensive database analysis of users activity in the Jumpdates.com website that the most responses tend to go to people who are proactive in their engagement with other members of the website.
The whole topic is really ‘no brainer’ because if you think about it the chances that you are going to get responses is correspondingly higher the more you are proactive and message other users. Unfortunately for men, sitting down and waiting for responses are not effective and to a certain extent some women can do that but even they have to initiate too. To make your profile even more effective, add ‘activities’ to your profile and make it sound interesting. For example, if you like dancing then say so, men will be surprised by the number of responses they can get from like-minded females.
I started off saying ‘be active’ and this means regularly going through your profile, reviewing and updating it and actively seeking out other members through their search. You will find it quite engaging once you start having a conversation with one person, then another and then you may find yourself having to ‘filter’ out profiles later on.
This is a good previous post on more ‘hidden’ powers of profile creation.
can you see how this profile can be improved further?
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Tags: dating etiquette, dating tips advice, optimizing dating profile
Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 1 - English grammar
Sunday, February 20th, 2011
Article Subject: Dr Dato’s series on online dating etiquette - Part 1 - English grammar
Dr. Dato’s Brief:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
You may think that shortening the words from ‘you’ to ‘u’ looks very techspeak and cool but you will be surprised to learn that other members in particular females are actually turned off by this lingo. Whereas these abbreviations are ok in the restricted world of SMS texting or twitter and understood, they are actually bad when you put this up on your dating profile.
There are some permissible words such as ‘lol’, ‘haha’ and other emoticon words used in the context of communicating. However, an intriguing word such as ‘hehe’ can have differing view points and can almost sound like one has an ulterior motive behind the saying.
Today, it is so easy to pass your words through spell checker and not only that, all the online services ie. email applications, wordpress, forms that you use has automatic built-in spell checkers. In case you were wandering that when you fill out a form, why some of your words appear with a red dotted line beneath it, it’s because the system has detected a word that it couldn’t recognize or mistyped. Use it to your advantage and then you can always go to google and type the word you are having difficulty with and google instantly brings back suggestions, so you can tell right away that you have misspelt your word or not.
When you are creating your profile, pay attention to the proper structuring of your sentences, grammar and spelling errors, they can stand out like a sore thumb. After all, you want to have all those males and females look over your profile and not do the disappearing act when you type your location as ‘Kantucky, USA’.
Also inject a good sense of humor into your profile and try to write in such a way to induce some amusement or laughter in the other person but not from your grammatical mistakes!
For more information on good writing style, please visit my previous post on “Dating online? Beware of grammar errors!“.
mistakes like this may look amusing but leaves a bad impression
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Tags: dating etiquette, dating language, dating profile tips, dating writing tips
