I was fortunate enough to witness two good friends of mine who were both exceptionally extroverted locked in a conversation. There are very good reasons why people sometimes use the term ‘opposites attract’ and here was a perfect example of this. Both of my friends were passionate about making their voices heard and their conversation ended up just being that with absolutely no dialogue at one point in time. It was very funny and somewhat entertaining to watch. Mind you, I wasn’t laughing at them, I was simply observing the outcome of the conversation which seemed to lead nowhere.

It occurred to me that in much the same way that men vs men can get locked in a conversation, there must be subtle differences in the way we converse with say men vs women or women vs women. Men usually hear stories about how women find it so natural to talk to each other with ease and many would go onto to converse for hours without even thinking. With the men vs women conversation and in particular when they are in a relationship the art of communicating takes on a whole new meaning. I sense that in that type of relationship one could pursue a communication that is tailored to prolong or forge the relationship rather than upset it.

In a courtship relationship between men and women, both have an interest at the outset of how the relationship will unfold and this triggers in each how to best communicate. Naturally there are agendas and self-interested pursuits within each individual and this will directly have a bearing on the outcome of the relationship and therefore the communication aspects too. It maybe the reason why couples are initially very aloof when they first start dating and it’s only after time that they become comfortable with each other.

Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2