Arranged marriages are normally in the Indian tradition decided by the parents of the guardian or an older family member.

indian dating and matchmaking for marriage

The actual match between husband and wife could be selected by either parent or a match making agent, matrimonial website, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives of the family including friends can play a major role in the matchmaking process.

The matchmaker identifies a set of potential matches and, based on mutual agreement and understanding between the families, it is customary for an initial exchange of photographs and some other documentation of the factors to consider i.e. astrological charts or a resume or a bio data of the interested people.

These items are usually returnable if the match does not proceed for any reason and in these kind of scenarios, families typically intervene to eliminate any traces of the matchmaking conversation between the parties and ensuring regularity in the family lives. The son/daughter reviews the information and the photographs, with much input from the family and friends and shortlists a few for face-to-face meetings.

In cultures where dating is not that prevalent, arranged marriages introduce a similar function by bringing together people who might otherwise not have met before. In such cultures, arranged marriage is viewed as the norm and accepted by young adults without objection.

In several cultures, the last duty of a parent is to see that their son or daughter passes smoothly through the passage of marital rites.

In some cultures, arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through many generations and have been unchanged. Parents who take their son or daughter’s marriage into their own hands have themselves been married through the same process.

During the first encounter of the conversation between the families of the interested parties, the family and the boy arrive and be seated with the entire girl’s family except the presence of the girl, who would dawn with fine clothes and enter the seated room often bringing tea and refreshments by herself. This practice is often called seeing the girl.

During this visit, the boy and girl are often encouraged to meet and talk amongst themselves in maybe a separate room or the whole family may go into another room. The families usually part after this initial encounter and if the prospective partners express a desire to meet or if the families are enthusiastic about a potential match, it is customary for the prospective groom’s family to meet separately with the prospective bride’s family.

In the first encounter or meeting, it is traditional for the boy’s family to meet without any commitment made by either side, and with the expectation that they will confer separately and send word through the matchmaker should they be interested in pursuing the matter further.

These meetings are understood to be non-exclusive, i.e. both the boy and girl are expected to meet with multiple other potential suitors at this stage. There is, however, an expectation of total confidentiality amongst the families and they usually do not usually disclose or make public the information about their meetings should nothing positive arise from the meetings. This is possibly due to the fact that rumors can run wild if other people were to know about the families objectives.

Once there is positive mutual agreement between the prospective bride and groom that they would like to proceed and marry, and no red flags have emerged from either party during inquiries conducted formally or informally, an engagement ceremony or a pre-engagement ceremony follows. Typically during the conversations of marriage both families may go about through informal inquiries through relatives, family members etc to find more about the bride and bridegroom character, well being etc. It is important that these facts are well known as it may jeopardize the relationship afterwards should anything surface following marriage.

In more urban areas where the social culture is more dynamic and progressive, the future spouses are often expected to go out on dates and develop a romantic kindling with each other prior to the engagement or marriage. Although this kind of relationship is traditionally frowned upon by the older generation as it entails sexual freedom and possibly diminishes the sacred role of marriage.

As a result, many parents and children likewise, can feel pressure from the community to conform, and in certain cultures a love marriage or even courtship is considered to be doomed to failure since it goes against the traditional thinking of marriage.

Tags: indian dating, indian marriages, indian matchmaking

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